How to Communicate Well to Save Relationships
Let’s face the fact that one of the most important aspects of an individual’s life is their relationships with significant others – be that a husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend – and when this primary relationship goes off track, life becomes unpleasant. When a person is unhappy in their primary relationship, no matter how well the rest of their life is going, there is a feeling of distress and unhappiness that is pervasive and unhealthy. If this unhappiness and dissatisfaction goes on long enough, physical problems and more serious mental health issues such as anxiety and depression arise. In other words, getting your relationship back on track needs to be a priority for a host of reasons.
What if Your relationship is Not Healthy to begin With?
This is a serious question, and First Big Fight in a Relationship one that needs to be thoughtfully considered. First, not all relationships are healthy, and some can be harmful, destructive, or even dangerous. In more serious situations, an unhealthy relationship can be life threatening. In the United States every year, there are thousands of calls made to the police for “domestic disturbances” that end with one person in what should be a loving relationship being seriously hurt of even killed. Thus, if your relationship is one where you are abused either mentally, emotionally, and certainly physically, perhaps this is not a relationship to get back on track but to find a way out of. If this is the situation you find yourself in, seek professional help and counsel to come up with a strategy to deal with the situation. Simply put, abusers may get more abusive and dangerous if they sense they are losing the object of their abuse.
So How Do You Get a Relationship Back on Track?
There are numerous ways to get a relationship that is worth salvaging back on track:
1. Open up communication. Begin to talk to openly with your partner about getting the relationship back on track.
2. Define what is was that was right about the relationship in the first place, and see if you and your partner can see where and when things may have changed. (You can do this as a solo exercise, but if you can do it together, so much the better.)
3. Begin an appreciation journal. This can take the form of a note in the kitchen or an email between you and your partner, friend or spouse. The point is that even if the relationship has fallen on hard times, there are still likely things you appreciate about one another, and these things should be said.
4. Try a once a week date where you break out of your routine. This does not have to be complicated, but often people get stuck in a routine and do not make the effort to spend quality time with one another. Again, think about what brought you together in the first place. You can go for a walk, have a quiet dinner, go to a cafe for a special drink with just the two of you, or any number of things, so long as it is done together and with just the two of you.